An Alternative Diet


Monday

Breakfast: Weak tea
Lunch: (1) bullion cube in 1/2 cup diluted water
Dinner: One pigeon thigh; three ounces prune juice (gargle only)

Tuesday

Breakfast: Scraped crumbs from burnt toast
Lunch: One doughnut hole (without sugar); one glass of dehydrated water
Dinner: Three grains cornmeal, broiled

Wednesday

Breakfast: Shredded egg shell skin
Lunch: One-half dozen poppy seeds (skip if taking drug test later in the week)
Dinner: Bee's knees and mosquito knuckles sauteed in vinegar

Thursday

Breakfast: Boiled-out stains of old tablecloth
Lunch: Belly button of a naval orange
Dinner: Three eyes from an Irish potato (diced)

Friday

Breakfast: Two lobster antennas
Lunch: One tail joint of seahorse
Dinner: Rotisserie-broiled guppy filet

Saturday

Breakfast: Four chopped banana seeds
Lunch: Broiled butterfly liver
Dinner: Jelly vertebrae à la centipede

Sunday

Breakfast: Pickled hummingbird tongue
Lunch: Prime rib of tadpole; aroma of empty custard pie plate
Dinner: Tossed paprika and clover leaf salad

Note: A 7-ounce glass of steam may be consumed alternate days to help in having something to blow off.

Source: The Internet cites several sources.
One citation says "It is from a joke card given out
many years ago by Slug's Roost,
a smorgasbord restaurant in Camp Hill, Pa,
which, alas, no longer exists."
Another citation says "It was developed by
Dutch Perigo and published in a physical education
journal several years ago."